Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Come To Me

Unanswered applications, weeks without a worthwhile story and general uneasiness.

I have had this feeling before.

It was November 2012. I had a spreadsheet of more than 50 media organizations and internship deadlines. I had already sent out the first 15 or so and gotten nothing. But, after an email out of the blue, I was selected as a News21 fellow.

And, the tables turned. I am still reveling in that success in fact.

Present day feels eerily similar. Still, it is compounded with the lack of a significant other. Both fronts look bare admittedly (I'm impatient, I know).

However, deep down, I trust that everything will work out. With God, it always does. So, this post is essentially a reminder for me to seek the end of the rainbow, even though it may touch down in a place I might not see or think of.

That is how it usually works. Plans deviate and life happens. But, while I do not usually understand God's plan, it is ALWAYS perfect.

So, there is that.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Decisions

I think about it too much. And, maybe that is a problem.

I put pressure on myself by focusing on finding "The One." Most of my actions: the movies I watch, the music I listen to and my prayers revolve around this topic.

But, it is who I am.

If I had stopped sending cold email pitches to editors after receiving countless rejection responses, I would not have success as a freelancer, writing stories for magazines and travel sites. If I did not have confidence interviewing a source after a factual error or misspelling, I definitely would not be able to interview a post-9/11 veteran, or even the WikiLeaks spokesperson.

It is the same confidence I will carry over into a potential relationship, despite the challenge of finding that special someone. The One is kind of like the Bible parable that questions putting a lamp under a basket.

The light here is a metaphor. It is for everyone to see. Or, at least it should be.

I do not know what this New Year will bring in terms of this ideal, but, my light will continue to shine, even if I cannot see what is waiting for me under the basket.

Revealed or not, I burn with the same intensity and desire.