Friday, October 27, 2017

Level Up

I thought I'd be married by now. Or engaged. OK, at least in a serious relationship.

But none of those things have come to fruition. And I'm perfectly happy.

There is so much to be thankful for ahead of my 25th birthday. Whether it's reporting on-air or traveling to a new place almost every weekend.

Sure, I still think about -- and pray about -- a significant other. It'll happen when it's supposed to.

I had level 25 envisioned as a benchmark for a relationship. That thinking was wrong.

The only benchmark is living life to the fullest, even on a weekday. Especially on a weekday: I just made guacamole for the first time!

Here's to 25.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Worth The Wait?

I should just settle.

It'd be easier. I wouldn't have to try, or pretend not to try.

Plus, why wait for someone that may never come?

These thoughts creep into my mind every so often. Waiting is hard. There's no rhyme or reason -- a day, place or even a time.

All I have is my faith. But that's plenty. You see, I have realized that my life is going to get so good.

Much better than it already is and probably better than I could ever imagine. And I have a lot to be thankful for.

A lifetime of firsts lie ahead -- memories that will wipe away these occasional negative thoughts.

I just don't know when, and that's okay. But I know she'll be worth the wait.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

The Staircase

I like to see the next step. The railing, the lighted path -- it’s comfortable knowing where my feet are going to land.

But, the steps on life’s staircase do not work that way. I cannot see the next step or even the layout of where I think I am supposed to go. 

Uncertainty is uneasy. Will I ever find her? What about my career?

These are the revolving questions as my two feet remain planted on life’s current step.  

However, even though I cannot see what is in front of me, I believe I am on solid footing.

You see, the staircase is the definition of faith. I do not know what will happen when I lift my feet again, but God does.

That dream job and/or significant other could be one step away.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Winning Numbers

There is a metaphor that I like to use: You have to buy the ticket to win the lotto.

The lotto being finding that significant other.

But, do the numbers really matter if I destined to win?

I am pretty calculated. I think that if I say and do the right things, or add more social profiles, the balls will fall in my favor.

However, I have come to realize that the winning ticket is something I cannot plan for. 

The text, phone call or Facebook message - there is no right answer. Love is irrational. And if it is meant to happen, it will.

I still play to win, but only God knows how the balls will drop.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Just One

I wonder about her a lot.

On the walk to the parking lot after watching a movie alone. And before I tell the hostess at a recommended restaurant the number in my party – just one.

But there’s solace in the fact that it won’t always be this way. The scenic drives, the intimate concert venues and the can’t miss brunch spot.

I will come back with her and do those same things. Except that it will be so much better.

That’s what makes this season of loneliness worth the trouble. I feel like I’m creating my own roadmap of future adventures, even though I haven’t lived long enough to appreciate the ones I’ve already made.  

There’s a whole world out there – and she’s in it somewhere. I’m still waiting for her, but I’m not waiting on her.

“Just one,” I will continue to tell the hostess. “Just one…for now.”

Monday, May 2, 2016

15 Strong

Fifteen years with Type 1 Diabetes. All the highs, lows and in-betweens.

I was diagnosed on May 6, 2001. I’ve told the story so many times - injecting oranges, the nurse yelling at me for having cake and the initial car ride home.

I thought it’d be like a diet – restricting certain foods and the like – but, it’s a way of life.

I test my blood sugar, take insulin and repeat this process with each meal, snack or late-night craving.

There’s the high blood sugars, which usually means a headache, or the jittery feeling of a low blood sugar.

Then comes the insulin. If I take enough, I end up somewhere in the middle – neither high nor low – and where I’m supposed to be.

This daily, sometimes hourly, routine, has meant growing up quickly. I was shocked to get carded at the movies (with a full beard no less) the other day, but maybe that’s a good thing.

You see, whether it was grade school sleepovers, pizza parties or field trips, diabetes was always there. It was there before my mom signed the permission slip. And when I moved into my new apartment too.

But it’s never stopped me. With diabetes, I can still love, cherish and love some more.

I can take impromptu weekend trips, work for a TV station and one day, marry the woman of the dreams.

Fifteen years in, I’m 15 strong.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Last Forever

I started watching "How I Met Your Mother" in middle school.

A young, hopeful Ted Mosby scouring the streets of New York in search of the love of his life. Ted wears his heart on his sleeve - he's a head in the clouds guy that wants to make it all a reality.

Over the years, the show has been a source of comfort. In nine seasons, Ted is left at the altar, dates the wrong women and often wonders if he will even be married.

It's those moments when it all looks bleak, however, that he picks himself up and keeps trucking along. I always go back and cherish those rite of passage episodes.

It might be easier to settle, to enter a relationship just out of the sake of loneliness. But Ted, trials and all, holds out for "The One."

It's part of the reason why I purposely held off on the end of the show. I had hoped I would find her, like Ted, as if life works through a television screen.

But the truth is, I do not know if I am any closer to finding her. Ted's journey is a lot like mine - waiting and hoping amidst some bumps in the road.

He gets the girl though. And marries her.

In the words of the mother: "Funny how sometimes you just...find things."